Slip Sliding Away

Well, I'm back!

It's been well over two busy years but it only takes one major injury to interrupt my busy life and suddenly......ample time to blog!

I am going to start with a post accident story.  Perhaps tomorrow I will fill you all in on the events leading up this this.  We'll see.

This evening was supposed to be a family affair making dinner.  My specialty is Schnitzel which the son only just learned but had not yet mastered.  No problem I say, we'll do this together.   The hubby will assist when needed.

Now, to set this story up I do have to submit just a bit of background information.  I seriously broke my foot (Tarsis bone, supposedly the worst) resulting in surgery, bruised ribs and some whiplash.  Go big or go home.  My foot is fitted with an air cast, my home with many accessaries to make my non weight bearing life easier: wheelchair, walker, crutches etc.

Enough of that.  5:30 rolls around and momma bear is getting very hungry.  No one has even made an attempt to start dinner and believe you me, no one in the house, other than myself, is even capable of pulling off a decent meal in under a half hour.  I decide to motivate.

Note to self.  Ranting is not the recommended method of motivation.  But rant I do.

One flustered teen rushes in and frantically attempts to execute my barking orders. The hubby wanders in about 15 minutes later and orders me out of the kitchen.  What if you fall, you'll screw up your foot.  No, I shout.  I'm at least getting this to the point where it's not going to take both of you an  hour and a half to get dinner on the table.  I'm starving!

I achieve my goal and set them up to finish off frying the schnitzel.  Good Lord, how hard is it to heat up oil??  The oil is smoking, I say from my perch in the living room.  No it's not says the hubby and proceeds to throw "a tiny bit" of water into the pans.....yes, you heard correctly....water!

The oil was indeed hot enough as the spitting, sizzling pans can attest to.  At this point the hubby notices his mistake takes the pans, lifts them up and proceeds to stand in the middle of the kitchen, one frying pan in both hands letting them cool.

In it's normal state my oxycodone free brain would have said, Wow, what a mess you are making in the kitchen, proceed with caution.

But no.  My drugged, low blood sugar, starving [did I say I was starving] brain lost all sensibility and madly crutched it's way into the disaster zone.  That is when tragedy struck. This is the part where the story gets good.

Remember when I told you the hubby stood with spitting frying parts in hand?  Any cooks out there?  Can you guess  what happened? (Think oil slick over linoleum floor)  You guessed it.  Three crutch strides in and I was going down for the count.  There was no stopping me.  Not even my galant hubby who tried to catch me.  Here's where I will switch to my son's rendition as he had the best vantage point:

First I saw you go flying.  I saw you protecting your foot and that you were going down slow.  I wasn't worried till your crutch knocked dads feet out from under him.  He was going down hard! And then there was Popcorn (our 7lb lap dog)!   I never realized how fast she was mom!!  She flew under your butt.....you just missed her!!!  And then dad just about landed on top of her!!! I mean, she was fast!!!

The good news is I did not further injure my foot.  I did re-strain the rib muscles on the way down but the hubby (who has been a pretty darn good caregiver) was thankfully uninjured.

And I have learned never to cook with oil whilst on crutches.

And not to rant.....that's not effective either.

😳

Double Header

The hubby and I went out hunting yesterday and each came home with a deer.  Normally this would result in great rejoicing, but in this case, not even a photo was taken.  Let me explain.

We were driving along when I noticed a deer with horns.  Seemed like a nice size, at least a 2 point (which was going to be my minimum for this year) so I took the shot.  All of a sudden there is some more movement and I tell the hubby there is another one.  Oh, I say, it's a spike buck....pretty small.  I am sent to park the truck. On the way back I hear another shot.  Did you have to shoot mine a 2nd time?  Nope I shot the other one.

We traipse through the slash about 100 meters or so to retrieve them both.  I am sent back to the truck to get the licenses.......a particular detail we both forgot to remember.  The hubby stays to gut the deer.  By the time I return the gruesome task is done (one I am capable of but will not argue should someone offer to do it for me).  What took you so long he says?

I would make a horrible deer.  I seem to take the most difficult path there and back each and every time.  Instead of looking for the "well worn" trail out, I opt for the hummocky, slashy, salal  ridden path.  Each and every time!  I am new at this....I am still learning.

We drag them out, I following the husband who has this walking through the woods thing down to a science.  In the truck they go and home we ride. No photos taken....I am kind of embarrassed as, in my opinion, these are the kind of deer you shoot at the end of the season when you still have a tag left.

Later that evening we assess the days events.  It goes something like this:

Me:  I really thought those horns were bigger.  If I had known that I don't think I would have taken the shot, would you?
Hubby:  Yup!
Me:  Really!?  Hmmmmm.  For sure though if you had taken the shot first I would never have shot that little spike buck.
Hubby:  Really!?
Me: Yup!  Why did you shoot it?
Hubby:  Because you shot one!

And so the years "competition" begins!

GermanG

Facebook "don'ts"

I have noticed that not all people know what to do regarding their status updates whilst utilizing Facebook.  Let me help you.

10 Facebook status "do nots":

1. Do not emotionally vomit all over facebook
2. Do not retaliate against your Ex
3. Do not tell me how many centimeters you are dilated
4. Do not tell me whose driveway you are parked in (or any other mundane fact)
5. Do not tell me that you have not "gotten any" in the last while
6. Likewise do not tell me that you "got it" last night
7. Do not share that you have bad gas, diarrhea or any other body fluid illness
8. Do not tell me what you are having for dinner (wait that is a mundane fact covered under 4)
9. Do not tell me that your toddler son/daughter just did a number two on the potty! (Not everyone will rejoice with you on Juniors accomplishments)
10. Never, ever, EVER update your status while intoxicated! EVER!

I am certain there are many more......but this is a start.

You're welcome,
GermanG

P90X - End of week one

Well, I survived week one.  Completely unmotivated and encouraged by my usually unenthusiastic bff, I made it to the end of the week.

I have not lost a single pound (must eat better this week), am in pain, but I feel much better.  Oh water on the knee....I have that too (insert sympathy here) but, I am taking Tony's advice, modifying, adapting and pressing on. (All with good form I might add because that is important!) See, I don't just complain the whole way through, I listen.  Well, actually, I don't really need to listen as I have probably memorized each and every annoying saying, motivational tip and just outright ridiculous ramblings.  "I recommend foot spray."  Need I say more.

Yoga X.  I truly hate it.  Yoga is supposed to be relaxing.  Not with Tony chattering on and on.  Not to mention the crazy, endless sun salutations!  1.5 hours of hell.....well maybe not all of it.  The last 5 minutes of stretching is quite relaxing.  I would rather do 2 back to back cycles of Plyometrics than one Yoga X.  Enough said.

But, I am grateful to the best friend.  Somewhat sore, but rather more motivated than the first week.  I am certain that we will eventually exchange roles and go back to our usual "Let's do this!! God you are so annoying!!" relationship, where I am the enthusiastic one.  My prediction is this will happen post wedding that she is attending.  When she is no longer on public display and can hide under layers of winter wear.  I will be the one saying, "Don't you feel great?" And she will be the one saying, "Piss off!"

I love our relationship!

GermandG

P90X - "I love it, but I hate it"

Oh the pain of "fitness".

Once again, I have lept onto the fitness treadmill thanks to my bff.  I wanted to leap on, but couldn't quite do it on my own.  Thankfully, while I was in Germany aquiring a few extra pounds, J got abducted by Aliens who transferred my desire (well, perhaps not transferred as I had lost that desire) to start on another cycle of P90X.  Now it's J saying, "When do you want to work out??"  Strange really.

Today is day 2.  Today happens also to be pain filled.  Why does "fitness" hurt so much.  It is supposed to make you feel better......this doesn't feel better.

But, from previous experience I know it will get better.  I know that I will begin to feel stronger, look stronger and become healthier.  I will lose weight.  A pleasant side effect to working out.

This time, I hope I continue in some form.  I hate struggling with my weight.  I don't like the fitness hamster wheel that I continually find myself on.

Perhaps this time, it might become a lifestyle change.

GermanG

Water, cool clean water!

Water is something that North Americans take for granted.  I have especially realized this on my trip to Europe.

I have to say miss tap water!  In Germany when you go out to eat and ask for water, you get a bottle of it, usually sparkling and you have to pay for it.  You can ask for tap water.......but you don't usually get it, or you have to fight to get some. I am told that if you insist they must give it to you but it is something that is frowned upon and if you are a frugal travellor it is something that adds Euros to your eating bill each an every time you go out.  I figure if I am going to pay 1,90€ for a glass of sparkling water, then I am going to jack it up to 2,90€ and have a decent glass of beer!

Europeans have to pay for their water.  They shower and rarely bath. When they shower they get wet, turn the tap off, lather up and clean necessary body parts, then turn the water back on to rinse off.  It's actually not a bad idea in the environmentally conscious society we live in!  But, we don't.  We waste the water standing under it for hours or bathing in it each and every day.  I confess....I have missed my nightly baths!

So, when I return to Canada I am going to try a little harder not take the water for granted and enjoy each and every free glass I drink.  I'll conserve in the shower and perhaps take a few less baths a week.

When you stop and think about it, saving the earth is best done one person at a time.  If each and every person recycled, used less water or walked a little more, the earth would be a greener place

I'll do my part.......what will you do?

GermanG

A healthy self image

Germans truly have a healthy self image.

Today was Schwimbad day.  The weather was hot, the sun was shining so off to the Freibad (outdoor pool) we go!

Here I am fretting the whole way there. Should I wear my two piece or my one piece?  I have just spent nearly 2 weeks in the land of chocolate, cheese, sausages and beer!  Needless to say, it's showing around the midline just a tad.  :P  But, on the way I make a decision.  I am on vacation dammit!  AND...no one knows me here.  I shall wear the 2 piece!

Out of the changing room I walk, full of a loathing self image and trepidation only to come face to face with a women in her late 60's....shall we say looking "well fed"....wearing a two piece!  Ha!  Can we say absolute freedom!

Now, there are positives and negatives. Also lounging about was a rather rotund man in his 40's wearing a speedo!  More than and eyefull I can tell you!  But also walking about were people of various shapes and sizes.  No one was staring (except perhaps me).....no one was commenting.  It was such a beautiful thing to see coming from a body conscious society such as mine.  Really, what is the big deal??  We are who we are, made how we are made and we should embrace it and strut around proudly.

Today the sun was shining on my being......and IN my being!

GermanG