It seems that I may be related to Elmer Fudd. Let me explain.
Last year I was introduced the the world of hunting. I have always been a bit of a tomboy, being drawn to sports that traditionally attract the menfolk. I was raised around guns and routinely went target shooting or trap shooting with my father. Being that I was an only child, I became his sidekick at most shooting events. I dare say I was pretty good at it. One area not privy to by my father, was the yearly hunting trip......nor truthfully, had I ever asked to go.
Recently I took my PAL course in the event that should dear old dad expire (no I am not trying to kill him off) I would legally be able to inherit his guns. Following this course my best friend suggested we continue with the CORE course. Truthfully, I was not at all interested in hunting, but she convinced me that this is something we must do. I acquiesced and in the end was very happy to be able to aquire a hunting license. Fast forward to a short but very successful hunting season and I am now hooked! Thank you jfeldt for introducing me to a whole new world!
I actually don't know who I have become. I think I may be every married hunting man's dream come true. Never before has the hubby enjoyed so many "must have" toys that accompany this genre of outdoor activity. I mean.....EVERYONE needs a bore sighter, don't they??
I am a bit worried though that I may have jinxed myself this year. I enjoyed a successful season, without all the frills. Decked out in long underwear under yoga pants, a plain blue shirt and a red jacket (you would think the deer had seen me for miles) I limited out without much problem. Most likely beginners luck, it will be interesting to see if I will still be as successful when stealthily decked out in full camo.
I love fashion, make up, high heels and apparently I now love camo.......only not as a fashion statement.
In my gene pool somewhere.......Elmer Fudd must be a cousin.
GermanG
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Friday, 27 May 2011
What Constitutes a Horde?
I simply do NOT do hordes of children very well.
The definition of a horde: A large group or crowd; a swarm; a vast crowd; throng; mob; Horde: a great company, esp. of savage or uncivilized people
By definition, I am just in saying that I spent a better part of the week with "hordes" of 11-13 year olds. They were a large crowd....a swarm.....a great company of savage and uncivilized people. I'm over exaggerating you say?? Let me clarify.
Try to corral 12 "tweenies". They are a swarm, resembling somewhat of a pattern, going in the same direction, but widely dispersed. Easily distracted, they wander back and forth, rarely listening to direction.......beyond frustrating!
But, surely they are not "uncivilized". Yes! Place a family pack sized box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch on the counter and watch most of the boys of the "throng" descend in a sugar induced frenzy to "savagely" devour 3 bowls at a time, without a single thought to the rest of the group!
Not to mention the girls.....giggling....talking till 3 AM. WHAT do girls that age have to talk about till 3 AM???? Politics.......religion.......boys.....ah yes, boys.....little do they know that future conversations about men will fill up infinitely fewer moments of time as they grow older. Young love.......sigh.
My friend was visiting once with her 2 children........at that time I had only one left at home. The kids were wild and running a muck when I said to her, "I don't do hordes of children very well"! To which she replied, "3 is not a horde".
I beg to differ.........
GermanG
The definition of a horde: A large group or crowd; a swarm; a vast crowd; throng; mob; Horde: a great company, esp. of savage or uncivilized people
By definition, I am just in saying that I spent a better part of the week with "hordes" of 11-13 year olds. They were a large crowd....a swarm.....a great company of savage and uncivilized people. I'm over exaggerating you say?? Let me clarify.
Try to corral 12 "tweenies". They are a swarm, resembling somewhat of a pattern, going in the same direction, but widely dispersed. Easily distracted, they wander back and forth, rarely listening to direction.......beyond frustrating!
But, surely they are not "uncivilized". Yes! Place a family pack sized box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch on the counter and watch most of the boys of the "throng" descend in a sugar induced frenzy to "savagely" devour 3 bowls at a time, without a single thought to the rest of the group!
Not to mention the girls.....giggling....talking till 3 AM. WHAT do girls that age have to talk about till 3 AM???? Politics.......religion.......boys.....ah yes, boys.....little do they know that future conversations about men will fill up infinitely fewer moments of time as they grow older. Young love.......sigh.
My friend was visiting once with her 2 children........at that time I had only one left at home. The kids were wild and running a muck when I said to her, "I don't do hordes of children very well"! To which she replied, "3 is not a horde".
I beg to differ.........
GermanG
Monkey see, Monkido
I have a fear of heights. Why then would I accompany a school group of 11 - 13 year olds to do a tree top obstacle course in the great outdoors? A VERY high obstacle course!
Monkido is a serious of wires, ladders, rope swings & ziplines all suspended in a beautiful forest setting, high within the tree canopy. Did I say high?? You are securely fastened by a harness/carabiner system so that no tragedy can befall you (one does forget that when you reach great heights) . The adventure starts with a "training" session on a course (ridiculously low I might add, giving no hint of what is to come) to make sure that you can follow the basic safety instructions set out by the staff. No problem here.
It has four levels, each increasing in both height and difficulty. The more difficult it became, the more I struggled with a past shoulder injury. Now, the fact that at many times, I was utterly terrified and hanging on for dear life 100 plus feet high, certainly didn't help those muscles!
The whole time I was thinking, why......why? This is entertainment? This is FUN!!?? This is terrifying!!! (Well, the ziplines were a blast......the rest....negotiable!)
But.......I was the last in line........11 year olds were flying through it like it was nothing. I wasn't going the be the one who quit half way through or be the one who would have to be rescued, clinging from a rope swing by the ruggedly handsome young guy who had been monitoring us on the path below. (Writing this now I realized I may have missed an opportunity there.)
In the end, I was proud of my accomplishment. I conquered a fear and emerged at the end of the course, weaker in upper body strength, but infinitely stronger in spirit!
Perhaps this was the purpose in the first place.
GermanG
Monkido is a serious of wires, ladders, rope swings & ziplines all suspended in a beautiful forest setting, high within the tree canopy. Did I say high?? You are securely fastened by a harness/carabiner system so that no tragedy can befall you (one does forget that when you reach great heights) . The adventure starts with a "training" session on a course (ridiculously low I might add, giving no hint of what is to come) to make sure that you can follow the basic safety instructions set out by the staff. No problem here.
It has four levels, each increasing in both height and difficulty. The more difficult it became, the more I struggled with a past shoulder injury. Now, the fact that at many times, I was utterly terrified and hanging on for dear life 100 plus feet high, certainly didn't help those muscles!
The whole time I was thinking, why......why? This is entertainment? This is FUN!!?? This is terrifying!!! (Well, the ziplines were a blast......the rest....negotiable!)
But.......I was the last in line........11 year olds were flying through it like it was nothing. I wasn't going the be the one who quit half way through or be the one who would have to be rescued, clinging from a rope swing by the ruggedly handsome young guy who had been monitoring us on the path below. (Writing this now I realized I may have missed an opportunity there.)
In the end, I was proud of my accomplishment. I conquered a fear and emerged at the end of the course, weaker in upper body strength, but infinitely stronger in spirit!
Perhaps this was the purpose in the first place.
GermanG
Monday, 23 May 2011
The Man Cold
I am singing the Hallelujah chorus as I write this! Why so jubilant you ask? The man cold has come to visit my home. Now, if anyone who knows me is reading this, you would ask.....why so happy? I shall tell you.
The good Lord has been gracious enough to see to it that I will be away for the next 3 days during "the man cold's" visit! Can I hear an Amen! (said with a very southern black baptist twang)
Now, before you look down on me for being the unsympathetic wife, let me clarify. My man, when sick, is not the type of guy who retreats into a room, only to emerge 3 days later fully recovered. No! He is the type of guy to let the entire household know that he is sick, by having us participate in his illness via a public viewing. Public viewing you ask??
I will give you and example. One particular bad cold/flu season he emerged from downstairs and stated....."I think I am sick......can't breathe....have a code in my node". He went to the hall closet, fished out grannies lovingly made tuque, put on multiple layers of clothing, grabbed the tissue box, suitably medicated himself and proceeded to plunk himself in the living room recliner to "ride out the flu storm". In and out of drug induced comas he hacked, wheezed and snored his way to recovery. ALL within full viewing range.
Men and women are completely different. There is a reason we are the ones who give birth. Those who know me, know that I am not a sympathetic person when it comes to illnesses. I rarely get sick, have a high pain threshold (unless I get a broken arm during hockey season......a story for a later entry) and rarely take medication when I am ill. Meld that with a polar opposite husband and well......let's just say that this time, it's best that I am away for 3 days.
The man cold has come to town......and thankfully.....I am leaving it.
GermanG
The good Lord has been gracious enough to see to it that I will be away for the next 3 days during "the man cold's" visit! Can I hear an Amen! (said with a very southern black baptist twang)
Now, before you look down on me for being the unsympathetic wife, let me clarify. My man, when sick, is not the type of guy who retreats into a room, only to emerge 3 days later fully recovered. No! He is the type of guy to let the entire household know that he is sick, by having us participate in his illness via a public viewing. Public viewing you ask??
I will give you and example. One particular bad cold/flu season he emerged from downstairs and stated....."I think I am sick......can't breathe....have a code in my node". He went to the hall closet, fished out grannies lovingly made tuque, put on multiple layers of clothing, grabbed the tissue box, suitably medicated himself and proceeded to plunk himself in the living room recliner to "ride out the flu storm". In and out of drug induced comas he hacked, wheezed and snored his way to recovery. ALL within full viewing range.
Men and women are completely different. There is a reason we are the ones who give birth. Those who know me, know that I am not a sympathetic person when it comes to illnesses. I rarely get sick, have a high pain threshold (unless I get a broken arm during hockey season......a story for a later entry) and rarely take medication when I am ill. Meld that with a polar opposite husband and well......let's just say that this time, it's best that I am away for 3 days.
The man cold has come to town......and thankfully.....I am leaving it.
GermanG
The "Evolution" of Language
Last night we had a very late & long drive back home from visiting the family. Many deer were avoided, my senses on high alert, trying to get everyone home safe and sound. No more than 5 minutes to go, we approach the final bridge before getting home. Look, I say to the hubby, I think it's a wolf on the bridge! (Feeling pretty stoked about this as I had just seen my first wolf not even a week ago!) Wait!! It's a cougar!! (This is doubly exciting!!) It was walking right in front of the car, taking it's time......truly magnificent!! Side note: The camera that WAS behind my seat on the ride down.......was now in the trunk next to the pot of chili we had for supper! Frustrating!! (Instead see grainy cellphone pic below)
So, we get home and I immediately post on facebook that the long drive was worth it because I saw a cougar on the bridge! :-)
I wake up this morning, only to find my post with comments such as:
"How old was she?"
"This made me laugh so hard!"
"Was she wearing fishnets?"
This is how our language has "evolved". Once a word meant to describe a magnificent & powerful feline predator, is now reduced to a word that describes a used up older women on the prowl for younger men.
Sigh.......this is the "evolution" of language??
GermanG
So, we get home and I immediately post on facebook that the long drive was worth it because I saw a cougar on the bridge! :-)
I wake up this morning, only to find my post with comments such as:
"How old was she?"
"This made me laugh so hard!"
"Was she wearing fishnets?"
This is how our language has "evolved". Once a word meant to describe a magnificent & powerful feline predator, is now reduced to a word that describes a used up older women on the prowl for younger men.
Sigh.......this is the "evolution" of language??
GermanG
Sunday, 22 May 2011
Speak no Americano - Part 2
I am wondering if we are even on the same planet....let alone the same country and speaking a familiar language. Enter "the daughter's boyfriend".
It's May long and we travel to see the kids and grandkids. We all enjoy a lovely dinner and half of the "fam" decides to head off to the Monster truck races. The daughter, boyfriend and I stay behind to watch the baby. Knowing that at the end of the evening a long car ride home awaits me, I decide to head out with my daughter to grab a Starbucks. Can you stay and watch the baby, we say? Sure says the boyfriend....and off we go.
Not long afterward we arrive home, lattes in hand. Chatting away we enter the unlocked front door, walk through to the kitchen to see an open back door. (Now before you start freaking out, I must print a disclaimer that they live in a smaller safe community.)
Where's the boyfriend.....the dogs? Oh my gosh.....he's gone to walk the dogs, my daughter exclaims!!
And the baby.....asleep upstairs, oblivious to the neglect......but gratefully....safe and sound.
We really must speak a different language......
GermanG
It's May long and we travel to see the kids and grandkids. We all enjoy a lovely dinner and half of the "fam" decides to head off to the Monster truck races. The daughter, boyfriend and I stay behind to watch the baby. Knowing that at the end of the evening a long car ride home awaits me, I decide to head out with my daughter to grab a Starbucks. Can you stay and watch the baby, we say? Sure says the boyfriend....and off we go.
Not long afterward we arrive home, lattes in hand. Chatting away we enter the unlocked front door, walk through to the kitchen to see an open back door. (Now before you start freaking out, I must print a disclaimer that they live in a smaller safe community.)
Where's the boyfriend.....the dogs? Oh my gosh.....he's gone to walk the dogs, my daughter exclaims!!
And the baby.....asleep upstairs, oblivious to the neglect......but gratefully....safe and sound.
We really must speak a different language......
GermanG
Saturday, 21 May 2011
Take out Anyone?
What began as a random act of kindness......not random really (will get to the details later).........has turned into something of a request for take out.
I have an alcoholic neighbour (referred to from here on as "N"). His self imposed circumstances find him in a state that is less than desirable. Once a fit man, hiking to and fro with ankle weights and a divers belt on, he now spends most of his time indoors in his favorite chair. He has a pension for old movies and no underwear.
On a particularly bad day I went to check on him. His back was to me as I shouted "Hey N.....you doing all right??" No reply. So, I made my way to the living room, peered around the chair and Gah! Balls to the breeze! I mean, I couldn't even bring myself to see if he was breathing. What do I do now, I think? If I go round to the front of the house, peer in the window (making sure the sill conceals the family jewels) maybe I might be able to see if he's still alive. Or.....maybe he will wake up, see me there and think I am a perv at the window trying to get a better look! Bad idea! Well, I think.....I will let some time pass, check him when he's sobered up......if he's dead, he's dead.....taking a closer look won't bring him back. I can return armed with a blanket to throw on top of him.
A few hours later, a more sober N responds to my calls. I chastise him for drinking "the hard stuff" and make him promise to stick to beer. If he does that I will make sure he has dinner for the next little while (the only meals he has been eating, I was recently informed).
Due to circumstances the last couple of days, I was not able to bring N any dinner. I go to visit today to say hello and have a chat. His request......."You think you could bring me over some of that lovely green salad you made me they other day. I am having a bit of a craving for greens".
My "random" act of kindness has become take out.......
GermanG
I have an alcoholic neighbour (referred to from here on as "N"). His self imposed circumstances find him in a state that is less than desirable. Once a fit man, hiking to and fro with ankle weights and a divers belt on, he now spends most of his time indoors in his favorite chair. He has a pension for old movies and no underwear.
On a particularly bad day I went to check on him. His back was to me as I shouted "Hey N.....you doing all right??" No reply. So, I made my way to the living room, peered around the chair and Gah! Balls to the breeze! I mean, I couldn't even bring myself to see if he was breathing. What do I do now, I think? If I go round to the front of the house, peer in the window (making sure the sill conceals the family jewels) maybe I might be able to see if he's still alive. Or.....maybe he will wake up, see me there and think I am a perv at the window trying to get a better look! Bad idea! Well, I think.....I will let some time pass, check him when he's sobered up......if he's dead, he's dead.....taking a closer look won't bring him back. I can return armed with a blanket to throw on top of him.
A few hours later, a more sober N responds to my calls. I chastise him for drinking "the hard stuff" and make him promise to stick to beer. If he does that I will make sure he has dinner for the next little while (the only meals he has been eating, I was recently informed).
Due to circumstances the last couple of days, I was not able to bring N any dinner. I go to visit today to say hello and have a chat. His request......."You think you could bring me over some of that lovely green salad you made me they other day. I am having a bit of a craving for greens".
My "random" act of kindness has become take out.......
GermanG
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